Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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