I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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