I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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