I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
