And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
