it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
