awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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