please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
