I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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