Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
