11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
