I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
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