he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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