he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
