That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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