She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
