How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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