You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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