Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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