I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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