I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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