What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
