Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
