FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
