I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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