ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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