At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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