Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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