Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
