Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
