You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
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