he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
