I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
