Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
