in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
This is the high leading the old right now
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize