They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
