It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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