I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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