So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
