I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
