Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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