i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
