I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
