I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Fuck appropriateness.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
