Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
