I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
