very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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