Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
