Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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