how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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